I Lampoon

2006-08-26T21:28:00.000-07:00

The logic of terrorism

The interplay between racism, Islamism and terrorism. Interview with an Irshad Manji and an ex-Palestenian Liberation Organization terrorist, Walid Shoebat.

2006-08-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

"Birth Pangs" in the Middle East

A great parody that accurately describes the current situation in the Middle-East.

2006-07-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

Turkish Barbie Girl

Ok, Enough of high-falutin' politics and Islamo-blah-blah.

I'm just putting up this video cuz it is HILARIOUS!

Yet again, Bombay towers over the killers

2006-07-11T21:26:00.000-07:00

A new day, the same Bombay, unbeaten, indomitable. Shrugging off the wounds received yesterday, Bombay has risen yet again. Bombayites are unable to take a holiday today and have had to go to offices, which refused to remain closed. On the way, they have had the opportunity yet again to smell the wonderful body-odour of their fellow citizens on train services that have refused to remain shut.

Here's the brief from NDTV:

Returning to normalcy

The morning after the devastating blasts on the Western railway line, life is back to normal for the ever-resilient Mumbaikars.

Train services are running normally and people are not hesitating to take the local trains to work.

Maharashtra Chief Minister Vilasrao Deshmukh has said the blasts will not affect the routine functioning of the city and schools, colleges and offices would run as usual.

Mumbai residents are sending out a clear message that the city will not be cowed down by terror. Incidentally, none of the political parties have called a bandh.

The injured are being treated at Lilavati, Cooper, Hinduja, KEM, Bhabha and Nanavati hospitals.

Most significantly, the Western Railway line, where all the seven blasts took place, is functioning. The Western Railway began its suburban services at different places almost four hours after the serial bomb blasts in its trains.

Train services between Churchgate, Mahalaxmi; Bandra, Andheri and Goregaon, Vasai have resumed.

The Municipal Corporation has announced that there will be no charges for funeral services.

And this is Naresh Fernandes in the New York Times:

Despite the long history of sporadic violence, Mumbai has always picked itself up by its bootstraps and marched off to work as soon as the trains started working again. Our ability to jeer at misfortune is attributed in the Indian press to the “spirit of Bombay,” which is variously described as “indomitable,” “never say die” and “undying.” But our spirit has been saluted so frequently of late, all the praise was beginning to annoy me.

Before I left the office Tuesday evening, I finished a magazine article complaining that this illogical faith in Bombay’s innate resilience had the unfortunate consequence of absolving the city’s administrators of the responsibility of actually fixing our problems. No matter how bad things get, they seem to suggest, we have an infinite capacity to cope.

Soon after hearing about the blasts, I made my way to the local hospital to see if they needed blood donations. It had been less than an hour since the first explosion, but I’d been beaten to it by nearly 200 people.

When the volunteers found that the authorities had adequate supplies of blood, they waited patiently to help carry victims into the wards. Others stood over shocked survivors, fanning them with newspapers and helping them contact relatives.

Stories of exceptional selflessness have flooded in all evening. One came from my friend Aarti, who was in one of the trains on which a bomb went off. As she jumped out of her compartment, she saw streams of slum dwellers from the bleak shanties along the tracks rushing toward the train with bed sheets. They knew that there would be no stretchers to be found and were offering their threadbare cottons to be used as hammocks to carry victims away.

Perhaps the newspapers have it right after all. An anguished night has fallen over Mumbai, but when the city eventually sleeps it will do so secure in the knowledge that its spirit is unbroken, that it is, exactly like the myth has it, indomitable and undying.

In Solidarity

2006-07-11T18:43:00.000-07:00

I encourage people reading this blog to use one of the symbols above in solidarity with the victims of the coordinated bomb blasts in Mumbai yesterday. You could use the images as a badge, display it at work or home, or on your blog (if you have one). The first one translates to: Today, I too am a Mumbaikar.

Let us also resolve to stay united in the face of the challenges we face ahead and lets we defeat the designs of the terrorists in the days and months to come.

NOT IN MY CITY, NOT IN MY NAME

2006-07-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

The God-hating, life-hating, leeches have attacked my city again. And they used my faith, again, to justify their act. I hope they are caught and die a terrible death.

I, as a Bombayite, a Mumbaikar, an Indian, and also as a Muslim, invite Muslims all over the world to wake up and smell the godless stench of death that Islam has become and the way it is inflicted on people around the globe everyday - from Khar to Karbala, Mumbai to Madrid, Bhayandar to Bakuba, Nala Sopara to New York. Is this what our religion has become? A bringer of death. A stinking hatred of life, liberty and diversity. A treasonous ideology which will hurt the very democracies that give it freedom to exist.

But they underestimate Bombay. My city, the pearl of the Arabian sea, will shake this heinous crime yet again and rise again tomorrow bruised but never beaten, and be, yet again, the hope personified to millions of its residents.

In the meanwhile, I will ask myself yet again the question:
Is this really the faith I grew up with?

Varanasi bombings: A wake-up call for Indian Muslims

2006-03-07T16:20:00.000-08:00

Muslim terrorists bombed Sankatmochan shrine in Varanasi and the Varanasi Cantonment railway station. It is time now for all right-thinking Muslims to stop hiding behind knee-jerk comments like "Islam is a religion of peace" and raise their voices loudly and forcefully against the disease of extremism that exists in our faith.

The perpetrators of this act might be foreigners interested in seeing a communal conflagration in India. Or they might be Indian Muslim knuckle-heads who've had one too many. More likely, is the former case(this IBN-CNN blog says that the perpetrators are most likely militants who crossed over from Nepal). But even foreign militants need safe hide-outs to stay in and resources to execute their plans. For that, there were surely enough Indian Muslim knuckle-heads floating around.

I wish the story ended there and I could tell you that all religions have their knuckle-heads and the majority of Indian Muslims are the peaceful, patriotic kind. Most of us are patriotic and forceful defendants of this country. But there are many who are not. And they not only inspire the knuckle-heads who helped plan these latest terrorist attacks, but also malign the name of Islam and Indian Muslims by who they are and what they do.

Due to Mulayam Singh Yadav's vile brand of pseudo-secularism, such specimen are found in abundance in the Uttar Pradesh government. Case in point, a certified terrorism financier, Yaqoob Qureshi, as Minister for Haj and Minority Affairs in Uttar Pradesh. Read Burkha Dutt's poignant editorial on Qureshi here. Indian Muslims are better off not having representation in government than having representatives like him. And then there's the thick-headed, disaster of a Shahi Imam of Delhi Jama Masjid, Syed Bukhari has the fucking gall to tell Indian Muslims that they should too feel like beheading the Danish cartoonists. And there are the unelected bastards of the Muslim Personal Law Board. The list goes on, and on, and on.

This terrorist bombing will just be the latest atrocity committed in the name of Islam if we don't get off our collective butts and get rid of corrupt, ignorant bastards who are the public face of Indian Muslims today.

PS: Just so you know:

I don't agree with the inference that the above-mentioned site draws. But I also can't disagree with the facts it states.

Discovery

2006-03-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

I was uneasy, nervous. It was first day of Bansari's school. The two year old child was clinging to me; holding my finger tightly and crying. She was not ready to leave me. I tried my best to tell her goodies about the school. But for her I was the world. When we entered in the school, there were many children like Bansari with both their parents. While Bansari had just me... a single widowed weak parent.

We all were waiting outside the ground, where the children were playing before they would go inside to their classes. I saw a very beautiful lady wearing a nice bright coloured Punjabi suit, comfortable, confident and relaxed. While I was in a pale coloured un-ironed kurta. She smiled at me and I smiled back. She said "your child is very beautiful". I wanted to ask her for some tips on how to send a child to school without making her cry. Her daughter Almaz was carefree and playing. While Bansari was still crying. That was really painful for me.

When the time came to send them to class and leave them with the teachers, I made Bansari sit near Almaz and left without looking back. I almost ran out. Now it was me who was crying. I was peeping from window to see what was she was doing. She was crying too. The pain was very transparent. The beautiful lady who talked to me earlier came over to me. She was Pinky, Almaz's mother. She was a bit surprised about why I was crying so much. She asked me "why are you alone? Where is your husband?" That was all. I burst out into tears. I said "I'm a widow. I don't have a husband. He died when Bansari was one month old" She felt sorry for me... Yes that was all I was looking for. Sorry, Sympathy and Pity. I was so much used to sorries, sympathies and oh my gods" She consoled me and I felt good.

That was one phase of my life. When I was a widow. My husband had passed away when I was 24, leaving his one month old daughter in my hands to face the world, struggling, depending on my parents and my brother for each decision about Bansari and myself.

Days went by. Bansari was going to school by auto rickshaw now. I would drop her in the vehicle leaving her crying. This was a routine and I had no solution. I never had any solution.

One day Bansari missed the auto rickshaw and I had to go to school to leave her in my scooter. She was crying as usual. She insisted that I leave her at the school's kitchen. I was baffled but took her to kitchen hurriedly. I was getting late for work. She went and sat on a chair. I wasn’t very comfortable leaving her there but I had to leave immediately and had no time to go talk to the teacher. I found the cooks walking around. I called one of the elderly cook and requested him to look after Bansari. His reply horrified me. He said, "Don't worry madam; she always sits here in the kitchen. Because she doesn't like to play with other children" I sank down. My body went weak. But I had no other option at that time so I left her there and left for my job. While riding my two-wheeler, though, I had a few thoughts in my mind. Somehow I was not feeling weak any more. I was getting the strength to take a decision for myself. I rode my vehicle fast. A decision was made that day.

I came back in the evening from work. Bansari snuggled with me as usual, forgetting her school phobia, forgetting the world. For the first time, I hugged her without fear without any compassion. I took a shower and took out my old pair of jeans and a red coloured t-shirt. I could see some surprise in the child's eyes. But she was surely feeling good about what she was seeing. I took her and tried to look out in the lobby if any neighbours were there. To my relief there was no one. I took Bansari for a ride on the scooter. I could see that she was happy and to my surprise, I was happy too! I was me. Swayam . This was our first ride of Freedom. A joy of Freedom.

There was no looking back then. I think I gave a re-birth to Bansari that day. She is thirteen now. If I had not done that, I was only a selfish.. mourning for my late husband and just not coming out of the shell. But today I'm proud of myself. I have understood the meaning of my existence, my identity, my potentials and my capabilities. I have a choice to decide. I have choice to do what I want. I even have some green eyes staring at me for having gotten myself the freedom I have. I could have never seen all these unless I had Bansari in front of me growing up as another independent individual. A totally different individual. Totally different from me. But still a part me. Her achievements say it all. We are proud owners of her collection of certificates in different fields - academics, singing, general knowledge, dance and computers. Moreover, I have parents who come to me now asking for tips on how to raise a child like Bansari. My discovery. My proud creation and re-creation. A reason to smile. I call Bansari as "my source and my force to live"

I often meet Pinky in school. We both complement each other on our outfits. And I never forget to thank her. She asked me once "Are you the same Swayam ?" I said "No I'm not the same Swayam . I have discovered myself into a new Swayam"

Once again, thank you Pinky.

Being a woman

2006-03-06T06:44:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was a young child I wanted to be a boy. I would climb trees, play football, shout, yell and act like a boy. As I grew up, my body matured into that of a woman and I soon came to realize that not only was I not a boy, I would never, ever understand what it would be like to be one, never enjoy the priveleges, the respect which comes of being male, never see the undeniable fallacies of being male either.

And surprisingly enough, I am not upset about that. Anymore.

I wont deny that I was, once upon a time, plenty angry for being born a woman. For stewing in silence as I watched people around me fawn over boys, ignoring the girls. For angrily denouncing all women as pale, afraid little creatures unable to take control of their own lives. I believed that i would only be able to do what I wanted to do if I was a male.

But now I realize that it is this sort of self-defeating attitude which continues to spur the male-dominated society we live in. It is this belief, that only men are capable of building a society which has pushed women kind into the background. I've realized that you don't need to be a man to do anything! Anyone can do anything. All it requires is COURAGE!

Courage to break out of this self-imposed prison then women have inflicted on themselves. Courage to shake of societal restrictions and do what we want to do the way we think we should do it. Courage, to throw away the shackles restricting us from taking over the world and go ahead and bloody do it!

And for that, we first need to get comfortable with our identity. For we are women, born with women parts: breasts and vaginas and uteruses. But why should we let that stop us from reaching our full potential, whatever it might be? Why do we have to be male to do so?

Society may still believe that a woman should do as she is told, that she has no voice, that she is nothing but a brood mare. Things might be changing but it is still a fact that when children come into the picture, it is the woman's duty to take care of it. Women still have to juggle home and professional lives, a lot more than men will ever have to. But if women and men are equal, then why should women have to go through all the hassles of building a career when men don't?

I've realized that now, when I am finally comfortable with the fact of being a woman, comfortable with the fact that I am going to have to work much more than any man to gain the respect I deserve, comfortable with the fact that slowly, surely, I'm going to make my way to the top. Without being a man.

Look at me. Look at my face, my body, my hands, my legs. Here's what I am. A WOMAN! And I'm not ashamed of being so!

Cross-posted at Unprettiful.

At long last, a ray of hope

2006-03-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

After weeks, of hearing Muslims behave in the most abominally un-Islamic of ways, its exhilirating to read something like this. I am not an emotional guy, but this brought tears to my eyes. A madarassa with a novelty. Its primarily for women. And. It trains it's students to use computers. In this particular story, a handicapped woman, with no hands.

This story is about the best traditions of Islam - the thirst for knowledge, the never-say-die spirit, the courage to withstand peer-pressure (in this case, the pressure of other Muslims) and do what is right, and the courage to innovate.

Sounds so far removed from what Muslims and Islam are today. But these are the principles of Islam that I was brought up with. To be sure, this madarassa may be a minority of one. But today it has given me the reason to be proud to be a Muslim again.

Here's the story

Starting Up the Ladder, From Below the Bottom Rung

By HELENE COOPER
Published: March 2, 2006

NEW DELHI

It's hard not to notice Abida Parvin as soon as you walk into the small room that serves as a computer training center for girls and women in an annex to, of all things, a madrasa in the heart of Jafrabad, one of this city's teeming Muslim neighborhoods.

She has no arms because of a careless bus driver who ran over her in 1998. She has no money — the $400 she received from the state as compensation for her missing limbs is long gone, used to help support her mother and six sisters.

What she does have is determination, though whether that alone will enable her to eventually land a job in a call or data center remains to be seen. Leaning back in a wooden chair in front of her computer in the training center of Madrasa Babul Uloom, Abida, 21 years old, uses her toes to tap out letters on the keyboard. Her right foot coordinates the computer mouse.

"Look," she says. "I'm learning how to use PowerPoint."

The world of Washington Congressional subcommittee hearings about lost jobs, and Ohio campaign speeches in which American presidential candidates complain about companies that outsource jobs to India, is as remote to Abida as the concept of workers' compensation. In her world, women who lose their arms in traffic accidents have far more limited choices.

Even the bottom-rung occupations like prostitution and panhandling aren't really available. The brothels in Mumbai and Calcutta don't want handicapped women, and it's hard to panhandle when you don't have hands.

So Abida is hoping to be hired to do computer work. She hopes that DataMation Foundation, the Indian company that runs the training center, will be able to place her with one of its clients — maybe Microsoft or MCI, or some other American or European company looking for cheap workers in India.

Abida Parvin is one of the few Muslim women in India who have managed to find a place to learn the skills they need to find jobs. Madrasas usually concentrate on religious teachings, and are traditionally for boys, not girls or women. The mullah of Madrasa Babul Uloom, Maulana Zafaruddin Ahmad, is considered a renegade in some circles here. Not even his own community is sure of what to make of his decision to open a school for female students.

"People are always coming here, wanting to know what's going on," says the mullah's son, Daud Khan. "Unfortunately, there are set minds. But the woman is the center of the family, and if the girl is educated, the whole family is transformed."

The training center was set up in 2002, after riots in India's Gujarat State. Humans rights groups say nearly 2,000 people died, most of them Muslim. The riots started after 59 Hindu activists were burned to death in a train coach just off a railway station, reportedly by a Muslim mob. Hundreds of Muslim women were raped in retaliation, and many were also butchered. Scores of organizations started holding seminars and panel discussions about the role of Muslim women in Indian society. (India has the world's second-largest Muslim population, at 150 million.)

In that environment, opening a training center for female students at a madrasa didn't cause quite the explosion in Muslim society that it normally might have. Yet four years later, "there's still nowhere like this place anywhere in India," says Guddi Khanam, one of the trainers at the center. Indeed, there are few madrasas like this one anywhere.

Standing just inside the doorway of Abida's classroom, Guddi Khanam surveys her students, some nine in all. They must overcome restrictions in their own homes and religion and society before they can even aspire to low-wage jobs that are prized because they may eventually lead to work at the call centers and textile factories that so frighten American politicians thousands of miles away. Their chances are further restricted by the hours they can work — DataMation officials say all female workers' shifts must end at 3 p.m. because some have been raped going home late at night. The mullah whose openness makes their slim chances possible is as remote to them as the wizard of Oz. The girls don't go into the madrasa proper, where hundreds of boys sleep, eat, learn the Koran and expound on the teachings of Islam.

And yet, Abida Parvin comes every day. She sits in the same wooden chair, right underneath the sign on the wall that says, "Allah is our Lord, Mohammad is our Commander, Quran is our Constitution." She looks at the sign, and smiles slightly. Then she goes back to her PowerPoint study guide, her toes tapping away on the keyboard.

Manifesto against Islamic Totalitarianism

2006-03-01T01:35:00.000-08:00

Some of the sharpest minds and bravest spirits of our time have come together to publish a manifesto against Islamism, the new face of global totalitarianism.

Blogs from all over the world are republishing the document as a show of solidarity.

Here it is...

MANIFESTO: Together facing the new totalitarianism

After having overcome fascism, Nazism, and Stalinism, the world now faces a new totalitarian global threat: Islamism.

We, writers, journalists, intellectuals, call for resistance to religious totalitarianism and for the promotion of freedom, equal opportunity and secular values for all.

The recent events, which occurred after the publication of drawings of Muhammed in European newspapers, have revealed the necessity of the struggle for these universal values. This struggle will not be won by arms, but in the ideological field. It is not a clash of civilisations nor an antagonism of West and East that we are witnessing, but a global struggle that confronts democrats and theocrats.

Like all totalitarianisms, Islamism is nurtured by fears and frustrations. The hate preachers bet on these feelings in order to form battalions destined to impose a liberticidal and unegalitarian world. But we clearly and firmly state: nothing, not even despair, justifies the choice of obscurantism, totalitarianism and hatred. Islamism is a reactionary ideology which kills equality, freedom and secularism wherever it is present. Its success can only lead to a world of domination: man's domination of woman, the Islamists' domination of all the others. To counter this, we must assure universal rights to oppressed or discriminated people.

We reject "cultural relativism", which consists in accepting that men and women of Muslim culture should be deprived of the right to equality, freedom and secular values in the name of respect for cultures and traditions. We refuse to renounce our critical spirit out of fear of being accused of "Islamophobia", an unfortunate concept which confuses criticism of Islam as a religion with stigmatisation of its believers.

We plead for the universality of freedom of expression, so that a critical spirit may be exercised on all continents, against all abuses and all dogmas.

We appeal to democrats and free spirits of all countries that our century should be one of Enlightenment, not of obscurantism.

12 signatures

Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Chahla Chafiq
Caroline Fourest
Bernard-Henri Lévy
Irshad Manji
Mehdi Mozaffari
Maryam Namazie
Taslima Nasreen
Salman Rushdie
Antoine Sfeir
Philippe Val
Ibn Warraq

Hat-tip: California patriot

The Joos and us

2006-02-27T20:19:00.000-08:00

A young Jew is tortured and murdered in the name of Islam. How long will it be before we start world-wide demonstrations against something like that?

Advantages of being a Muslim man

2006-02-26T00:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, There are MANY advantages of being a Muslim man. For instance... not being stoned for adultery, or not having to wear hideous burqahs, or being able to talk to people of the opposite sex without any religious sanctions of any kind.
But then there are some other advantages of being a Muslim man - Not being considered "dirty" for a couple of days every month. I never realized that until I read this post by Mariam.

Here's a quote:

Because the Quran instructs people to touch the holy Book with "clean" hands ["Which none shall touch but those who are clean." 56:79], women are traditionally not allowed to touch the Quran during periods. One upon a time, I was so much into religion that I couldn't go a day without reading the Quran. I had to use a tissue paper to turn the pages so I wouldn't contact the Book. If you don't know how cumbersome this was, please try to flip pages of a book with a kleenex in your hand.

Now, I have never, ever, been into religion that much. In fact, I have gone years without even opening the Quran. But would I be considered "dirty" because of that?

Hell no! I'm a guy, remember?

Lets read some more...

It was Lahore in December 1996 and my family was leaving for Kuwait. Mom suggested that we go to the Mian Mir Mazar (a shrine of a sufi saint). I was excited at the prospect. I had been to the shrine & the Urs (the annual celebration) several times when I was a kid, but hadn't been there for five years. Excitedly, I quickly got dressed. Mom looked at me annoyingly and said that I couldn't go. So the rest of the family went while I remained behind. How angry I was! We were leaving for Kuwait in the next day or so, and I had no idea when I would visit Lahore again. But I couldn't go to the shrine. What harm can a menstruating teenager do to a tomb? I didn't understand then, & don't understand now.

Yes, readers of this blog... that's dirtiness in Islam for you. Not mass-murderers, not mosque destroyers, not cultural genociders, or traitors who turn against countries that give them shelter. No, not them. A teenaged girl, who is having her period. Yup, she's "dirty".

When the fuck will we grow up?

Beleaguered-ness

2006-02-25T19:48:00.000-08:00

An Australian government minister says:

"Before entering a mosque visitors are asked to take off their shoes. This is a sign of respect. If you have a strong objection to walking in your socks, don't enter the mosque," said Costello, in a speech to the conservative think-tank The Sydney Institute.

"Before becoming an Australian you will be asked to subscribe to certain values. If you have strong objections to those values, don't come to Australia," he added.

::Sniffle:: Mummy! They picking on me again! ::Bawl::

His comments prompted an angry response from at least one Islamic group, which accused him of playing populist politics and stirring up Islamophobia.

"He has no reason to raise the issue of Islam," Keysar Trad, founder of the Islamic Friendship Association of Australia, told The Associated Press. "Why drag Islam into it other than for the reason of taking a cheap shot at a beleaguered community."

Yeah, right.

A male Muslim, in democratic Australia, having the right to free speech (howsoever stupid), complaining about beleaguered-ness over a common-sense comment by a member of the government. A beleaguered-ness that millions of Muslims living in Muslim majority countries, under Muslim dictators clearly do not enjoy.

Check out how the green areas on the map at the top (Muslim majority countries) overlap almost exactly with the red or orange areas on the map at the bottom (Not free or only partially free countries).

Map of World Religions: Islam (green)

Map of Freedom: Free (green), Partly Free (orange), and Not Free (red)

Hat-tips: Wikipedia, Freedom House, Maps of the World, Andrew Sullivan

civility

2006-02-17T09:55:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking, and arguing, about the Muhammad cartoons for the last month. Fortunately I have friends on either side of the debate, and since I don't agree with any of them, it's been useful -- nothing like taking fire from both sides to really figure out what you think. When my overseas Muslim friends first started talking about the cartoons I was dismissive. Looking at the images online I knew I had seen similar jokes at Christianity's expense. If it didn't bother me when I was the butt of the joke, why were they so angry?

Two things changed my first opinion. One was finding out that the Jyllands-Posten was less a champion of free speech than a hypocritical right-wing rag, which rejected caricatures of Jesus three years ago because they would offend readers.

The second was an IM conversation with a Moroccan friend of mine. He was hurt and offended by the cartoons, and I was trying to explain that freedom of expression must explicitly protect offensive speech. In talking to him about the decision to publish the cartoons, I realized that there’s been a conflation of two kind of rules, the rule of law and the requirements of good manners.

I do not want legislation protecting religious figures from satire. But the right to offend carries responsibility. I have a right to criticize the dress or lifestyle choices of my next-door neighbor, but I had better have a damned good reason to do so beyond the desire to demonstrate my freedom of expression. If we're going to violate the most deeply held sensitivities of a group of people, shouldn't we be getting something of value out of it? Because after I've had my say, the next morning my neighbor is still going to be right next door.

I see nothing coming from this provocation but (absolutely inexcusable) property damage and loss of life, and a justified, and very damaging, boycott of Danish products. So what was the purpose? To show that you can corral uneducated bigots on both sides into extreme positions?

You can't legislate politeness. But you can criticize people who violate its rules.

The Jyllands-Posten had an absolute right to publish those cartoons. But they should not have. All the bloviating about Muslim hypocrisy (it's true, anti-Semitic cartoons are common in the Middle East) does not change the fact that this editorial decision was rude, intentionally provocative, and most inexcusable of all, ineffective.

this is a cross post

Apologies

2006-02-16T23:22:00.000-08:00

Mr. Lampoon apologizes for not posting in quite a while. He was quite busy this week. But thats given opportunity for a torrent of noisy, heretic ideas to make Mr. Lampoon's head their home. So stay tuned in over the weekend!

A Call for Women's Liberation

2006-02-15T13:44:00.001-08:00

Did you know that women in some countries have to dress differently from men? Cultural taboos and an archaic religion teach them to hide their bodies. Our poor sisters never feel the sun or wind on their skin, held prisoner inside their clothes because of rules made by oppressive men.

Let's reach out to the victims of the religious patriarchy. Let's lift the veils from the social constructs that keep them bound. It's unhealthy to sexualize a perfectly respectable part of a woman's body just to satisfy a repressed culture. We need to educate them out of their backward state, set them free from their captors.

I have a dream that some day, the women of these countries will look to our example, and see that there is nothing shameful about their bodies, that the chains of oppression binding them will loosen. . . that in a moment of joyous freedom they will cast off their. . .

. . . shirts.

This post grew out of conversations I have had with people who are positively offended by the hijab. I try to explain to them that compulsion is ugly, but that different cultures have legitimately different standards about what is and is not appropriate to bare in public. My first post lampoons annoying "Western" moralizers, but have no fear: There is no shortage of idiots in Dar al-Islam or Dar al-Harb. I shall be merciless.

Guess that suffices for an introduction. Thanks to Mr. Lampoon for inviting me to participate on this blog!

Conversations with Pati

2006-02-11T07:11:00.000-08:00

I had an interesting conversation with my grandmother the other day.

It ranged from the time-honoured classic that is 'Baby's Day Out' to a friend who miraculously escaped being run over by a train.

And in the span of that entire conversation, one thing struck me rather hard.

'It was so lucky he escaped,' she said. 'He had three girls to marry off, you know?'

Now, I love my granny and she is incredibly cute but that sentence completely threw me, completely chilled me. And yet, it and its various layers of meaning still reverberate continuously throughout middle-class Tamil society, to which I rather unfortunately belong.

The fact that a man's duty towards his daughter ends completely with her marriage hurts and bewilders me. I would like to believe that my dad sees more in me than that! And through out this all, I can't shake the feeling that women are still treated as brood mares, that the duty of a woman begins and ends with bearing a child, and preferable a male one at that.

And what is marriage in today's world anyways? Why should the only goal of a woman be marriage? I can see changes around me, in attitudes and women do seem have more of a say in their own lives (it took long enough!). And yet, my grannies throw around statements like that, my own mother believes that no woman should wait beyond the age of 24 to marry and I sit there, trying to take all this through one ear and let it out the other but it's difficult and scary and sometimes I feel helpless and frightened and I can't wait to get out of this house, away from my family to follow my dreams, to achieve my goals, to live my own life.

I love my family but things have got to change!

Cross-posted at Unprettiful.

Do Muslims understand Islam?

2006-02-09T00:17:00.000-08:00

Lets forget about the infidels. Do we Muslims understand our prophet's teachings? Or care to? These poignant cartoons suggest otherwise.

Blasphemy

2006-02-08T19:53:00.000-08:00

At least the original cartoons were false depictions of Muhammad. Thanks to our exemplary behaviour last few days, this series is a mostly true depiction of his followers.

The real insults to Islam

2006-02-03T19:55:00.000-08:00

Forget the Danish cartoons, they're far too mild. The people who really insult Islam are Muslims themselves.

Is this what Prophet Muhammad taught us?

Hat-tip Andrew Sullivan.

Forcing Muslims to grow up. Finally!

2006-02-01T21:52:00.000-08:00

The New York Times:

Broadening a debate that has set Europe against the Islamic world, several European newspapers on Wednesday reprinted cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad in an unflattering light, supporting a Danish newspaper that had inspired a huge outcry in the Islamic world by publishing them in the first place.

And just loved this part.

In Germany, the conservative Die Welt printed one image on its front page and declared in an editorial: "The protests from Muslims would be taken more seriously if they were less hypocritical. When Syrian television showed drama documentaries in prime time depicting rabbis as cannibals, the imams were quiet."

But then comes the bigotry of low expectations.

"None of us are totally free of stereotypes about people of different races, different ethnic groups, and different religions ... there was this appalling example in northern Europe, in Denmark ... these totally outrageous cartoons against Islam."

-Bill Clinton

Billy, Thank you for pointing out that the cartoons reinforce unflattering stereotypes about Muslims. But, personally, I didn't find them particularly offensive. Other deities have fared worse under the cartoonist's pen. Yes, Muslims do believe that the Prophet should not be depicted in a drawing and some of us, might indeed find them offensive. But thats no reason to have a fit like we're having one right now. Mr. Lampoon admires you, but what is really offensive in this whole saga is that you feel you need to mollycoddle us and shield us from the world around us.

Muslims, we must realize that living in societies with religious and cultural freedoms means that when newspapers print cartoons that we find offensive, the appropriate reaction is angry letters and perhaps a picketing or two. Not death threats, withdrawal of ambassadors and completely hypocritical demands for apologies.

Found: A funny, heretic, Saudi, Religious Policeman

2006-02-01T21:35:00.000-08:00

The mind boggles, no?

Mr. Lampoon has gawked at this Saudi Religious Policeman for quite some time now. But its time now to end the selfishness and share his hereticism with you.

Especially his really, Really, REALLY hilarious take on the saga of Danish cartoons and 1.2 billion cry-babies.

Breaking the Silence

2006-01-29T04:18:00.000-08:00

I switch on the TV to a news report of a faraway war.

Switch channel.

A sanctimonious Bollywood movie sanctioning violence for the 'greater good.'

Switch channel.

Hip-Hop gangsta types rapping about 'getting hos' and 'dumping clips.'

Switch channel.

A 'cute' cartoon for children- cat beating up mouse. GI Joe, rabid creatures fighting each other with out-of-the-world powers.

Turn off TV.

I wonder if this bombardment has made me completely distant from what has been happening around me. Am I so inhuman that I am incapable of becoming affected by crimes of the worst kind: against basic human dignity and respect? Have I lost my ability to feel compassion for the suffering of others of my kind?

There are rapes, murders and other heinous crimes in my city and I don't feel a thing. Of course, the recent case of Pratibha Srikant Murthy was covered. But was that because she was on of 'us' - the middle-classed, upwardly mobile, moneyed, working at a BPO? No doubt her case was quite shocking - raped and murdered as she was by a driver assigned by her firm to ferry her to work. The case was on the front pages, on the zillion TV News channels. (What I found especially sickening was the driver's explanation for his crime. "My wife was away," he said, reportedly. "And I was getting desperate." And apparently, his wife was away delivering his child!)

But brutal rapes are a regular occurrence in my country. According to UNICEF, a rape occurs in India every 34 minutes. Why did just Pratibha's case hit the headlines? Why did it take that case to shock the living daylights out of us? Is it because other crimes occur to the so-called 'lower middle class' and they're too small minded for you and me to pay attention to them?

Pratibha's rapist and murderer, Shivakumar, was swiftly brought to justice. But hundreds of other perpetrators go free everyday. Is it because Shivakumar had the gall (foolishness?) to rape a victim of a socio-economic class higher than his own and others are wiser? Would an upper class perpetrator be punished as swiftly and as rigorously?

Next time, if you change the channel when a report about a brutal crime occurs or you find yourself tapping your feet at a gangsta rapper's lyrics about raping 'hos' and 'bitches' ask yourself this: what would it take for you to actually watch that news report or that video and get riled up like you should be.

Compassion: Saudi style

2006-01-22T21:17:00.000-08:00

Just when you think that the Saudi regime had no compassion left in it, they surprise you completely.

They actually pardon a guy who was going to have his eyes gouged out!

Ain't that cute?

To know about an Indian countryman, ask a Pakistani

2006-01-19T08:23:00.000-08:00

The "great" Amit Varma of India Uncut fame, has gained valuable insight about Indian Muslims from a Pakistani journalist. I'm not a big fan of reactionary posts, but I felt compelled to reply to this one. Here is what I wrote to him (minimally edited).

Amit,
First let me congratulate you on your gullibility for taking pointers on Indian Muslims from a foreigner. Murtaza Razvi talks to a bunch of losers from Nizamuddin and you take their views to be generic enough to paint all Indian Muslims with that brush? Yeah, you insert that lame, customary disclaimer that he is not talking about all Indian Muslims. I'm sorry, but that disclaimer is as unconvincing as the rest of your post.

Let me give you a crash course about who Indian Muslims are, since obviously you haven't met / taken the time to know enough of us.

My grandfather had the option to migrate to Pakistan in 1947, but we stayed in India. Not because we owned a particularly lucrative business here, but because we believed that India was home and because my grandfather, being a member of the Indian National Congress at that time, did not believe in the ideology of Pakistan. My grandmother helped a Jain neighbour run her beauty parlour by breaking eggs for her (which were needed in some beauty regimen that the neighbour prescribed). My mother retired after serving 22 years at a prestigious public university. My uncle spent equal number of years at a prominent private sector company. My sister and I were both educated in the US but are back in India.

We still live in remarkably multicultural areas. Segregation of residences by religion has happened recently. But its hardly been voluntary and has almost always been motivated by reasons of security. None of us are particularly prominent. You won't see any of our names in the newspaper. And yet, middle-class Muslim families like us abound in every part of this country. Probably even in Nizamuddin. Maybe Razvi didn't come across us because he wasn't here long enough. But you not knowing about a family like us is simply criminal.

Let me tell you one more thing. In many ways, Pakistan is like Afghanistan. This is your first visit there and you've probably hung out with the upper class crowd. Go unsequester yourself. I've been to Pakistan to visit relatives and my parents have gone there more than once. With each subsequent visit, they've been appalled at the destruction wrought on the Pakistani economy by the repeated coups, the irresponsible public sector and individual spending, the wide chasm between rich and poor (wide even by Indian standards) and the total absence of a sense of civic duty (out of a population of 170 million, Pakistan has only 1 million people who file income-tax returns). None of our relatives who migrated to Pakistan in 1947 or later remain there. They've all emigrated to greener pastures further west. Perhaps you could ask the reason for that to the blithering idiot with whom you had that "long, enlightening chat"

Friday Night in the life of a Muslim woman!

2006-01-17T02:53:00.000-08:00

It was Friday night and some of her other Muslim brethren had offered namaz at mosques earlier in the day. She rides 50 kms on her new bike to go to a hard rock show and head bang to a hard rock band - Psychomotor. They are playing songs from Nirvana, Radio Head etc. Among other band members is Shirin, at the keyboard.

A smile runs across her face as she zooms out of the scene and watches herself, a Muslim biker dudess listening to Shirin, another Muslim girl enthralling the crowd with her keyboard stunts. And she wants the Bukharis & Bushes of the world to watch this scene; to question their prejudices and stereotypes. Neither Shirin nor she choose any of their activities to 'fit' into the mainstream. They're just individuals that by accident of birth happen to emerge from a certain faith.

She asks herself why one would even look at a woman playing hard rock to another one as an exercise in irony. Just because the characters here happen to be Muslim? Would any eyebrow twitch if either of the two were of any other faith?

The aim of this series of posts is to make you wonder long enough till you wouldn't wonder any longer. So till next time...

Writer expelled from community of Progressive Muslims!

2006-01-13T20:08:00.000-08:00

In a shocking development, The Progressive Muslim Union North America expelled that heretic, unscarved woman from the community of Progressive Muslims.

Counter review: "The Trouble with Islam Today" by Irshad Manji

2006-01-13T02:27:00.000-08:00

"This is Daniel Lak, BBC News." The words are spoken with a melody that is both full of anguish and yet, somehow soothing. Reminding us that the story you just watched was might have been bland, but it was important. And that it was backed by the professionalism of a BBC journalist.

I have great regard for BBC journalists. They go to the farthest corners of the world and report hard-hitting stories at great personal risk. Their reputation for professionalism is well-deserved.

But then respected BBC journalists like South Asia correspondent, Daniel Lak, do something troubling, like writing this lazy, intellectually dishonest book review of Irshad Manji's The Trouble with Islam Today. And it just takes you aback. Is this the guy that I am all ears to when he is reporting on BBC World?

Daniel starts with a longish passage from the book where Irshad speculates on the possible motive for Ayatollah Khomeini to issue the fatwa against Salman Rushdie in 1989. Khomeini condemned a British citizen and resident of Britain to death because he happened to dislike what Rushdie had written. This was a landmark event in international politics and Irshad doesen't mince her words. The passage is opinionated and harsh but it is also coherent, intelligent and incisive.

But Daniel happens to not like this passage so much and just rips into the book. He calls it a "vitriolic broadside", "an awkwardly written pamphlet", and that he would "hesitate to call it a book". He alludes to false allegations by her critics that she is an Ismaili without attempting to set record straight. And ends his review by calling the book "served in a sauce of glib and repetitive mockery of the faith."

Now, Daniel, I am a Muslim. And even I don't see the book as "served in a sauce of glib, repetitive mockery of the faith." Did you even read the book, Daniel? In the third chapter Irshad describes the golden period of Islam. Is that the vitriolic broadside you talk about? In the second chapter, she meticulously describes the contradictory verses in the Quran that can be selectively interpreted to reach opposite conclusions. Is that what you call an awkwardly written pamphlet?

The book has several shortcomings to be sure. For one the complete absence of footnotes in the book itself (she has the source notes on her website) has the distinct feel of a copout. And then there's the excessive focus on desert Islam or "foundamentalism" as Irshad calls it. That focus ignores the fact that Shia Muslims in Iran and elsewhere have been prone to the same failings as "foundamentalist" Islam inspite of never having looked at the Sunni Arab regimes eye-to-eye. Perhaps, if you had actually read the book, Daniel, you'd not need to hide behind words like "suffers from so many shortcomings that listing them all would be pointless and as tedious as the polemic itself." You think Irshad's polemic is pointless? Tell us why. Don't answer it with a polemic of your own.

Daniel, I respect you as a journalist. You were there in Afghanistan much before the Americans got interested in it post 9/11. You were there reporting when nobody wanted to know about that place. You surely can do better than this review. I, self-styled lampooner of all things lampoonable, can't bring myself to make fun of you. I'm just pissed at you. How dare you jeopardize your reputation with a thin review like this? You get to do a do over. Go back, read the book and give us the reasons for all the names you call it. That is why we pay to buy the magazine you write for.

Financial plans gone awry

2006-01-12T10:22:00.000-08:00

Sukhram Singh and his wife Parvinder believed in long-term financial planning. Their investments, they believed, were wise, and execution, flawless. "Humne paanch ladkiyon ko gira diye. Teen bete hue. Betonse "khandani naam" aage badhta hai na." [We aborted five girls. Had three sons. Sons, after all, continue the "family name".] They had expected their retirement to be a bliss - rolling in dowry money and ordering their daughter-in-laws around.

Instead thirty years later, they have woken to a rude shock. Sons are no longer the cash-cows that they once were. And due to the shortage of women in the village, brides need to be bought, er... brought from outside. However, with the money they'd spent on sex-determination and abortions, they have been able to only afford one bride, Aanchal, for their eldest son. Aanchal is shy and keeps her eyes to the floor like a good Indian bride. She is the eldest of seven siblings, six sisters and one brother. Her mother died while delivering her brother. Will she try for a son too? "Ladkiyan to boj hoti hai ma-baap par. Beta hona zaroori hai." [Daughters are a burden on their parents. Having a son is necessary]

Other couples in their village have similar stories of financial plans gone horribly wrong. Kannu Khan did not subscribe to Sukhram's abortion-based life insurance plan. He started his career on a bad note, marrying a wife who bore him five consecutive daughters. Unperturbed, he dumped the bad investment (and her daughters) and remarried. This time, though, he was wiser. He diligently spent money on sex-determination and abortion of his daughters and was relieved when he finally got a son. However, his efforts to find a suitable daughter-in-law for himself aren't going anywhere. His body is weak now after an eventful reproductive life and his his daughters care for him. He smiles wistfully, "Bas, bete ki shaadi ho jaye, ek bahu mile aur khoob sare poten ho..." [All I want is my son to get married, get a daughter-in-law and for them to have many grandsons...]

Lampooners wanted.

2006-01-10T21:26:00.000-08:00

Mr. Lampoon is slacking. He hasn't written an original post in over a month. Says he's too busy with his full-time job, learning new languages (he's learning three!), and romancing women too smart for him. No wonder he's running out of ideas.

He sure could use some competition. How about giving him some?

If you've experienced fanaticism, sexism, racism, corruption, or xenophobia first-hand, or observed it close-up, can take a hard, brutal look at what's wrong with your own communities and cultures (Very, Very Important), love making fun of thick, short-tempered, powerful people, and can express yourself in words, then this site needs you.

It don't matter if you're muslim or infidel, black or white, brown or wheatish, male or female, gay or straight. Send in your ideas and your entries to ilampoon@gmail.com. This might be the only opportunity you get to make powerful enemies of your own!

People writing consistently compelling stories will have a shot at replacing lazy Mr. Lampoon.

Muslim Refusenik links Mr. Lampoon!

2006-01-08T22:39:00.001-08:00

Mr. Lampoon extends a warm welcome to all the visitors from Irshad Manji's Muslim Refusenik. Please feel free to leave comments and/or write to me what you think about this site.

And a big thank you to that unscarved heretic for linking to this site. :)

Mr. Lampoon's email to Irshad Manji*

2005-12-05T23:05:00.001-08:00

This is the email that I wrote to Irshad Manji. She put an edited version of it on her site

I'm posting this letter because:
1. I'm vain and want you guys to know that Irshad posted this letter on her site
2. This letter really explains why I feel about extremism in Islam so strongly.

Hi Irshad,
I've followed your writings intermittently for the last few years now. Great work. I am a Muslim and my ancestors were converts to Islam from Hinduism. I credit my faith for having given my ancestors the courage and self-belief to leave a life of social and economic marginalism in rural India in the 19th century and providing the impetus to educate themselves, to advance themselves economically and socially. My sister and I are urbane, articulate, successful professionals. I am writing you an email in English. And for this, I thank my ancestors for choosing the faith they did a century and half ago.

I was in the US doing my Masters when the WTC and Pentagon bombings took place. I cannot tell you how sick I felt. I was taking a class at that time with a Jewish professor from New York. He was and still is one of the best teachers I've encountered so far. Although classes were suspended on that day following the bombings, word had still not reached us. I had no idea how to face him. A Muslim, determined to eradicate his race, had destroyed an iconic monument in his city. And he used my faith to justify it. When Bombay was bombed in 1991 by a Muslim terrorist, I considered that an attack on me. His motivation was not my motivation. I stood squarely with other Bombayites as the wronged victim. But in 2001, I did not have the consolation of being a victim. I could not not go to his class. Islam frowns upon cowards. And although I could not tell him anything then or later on this topic, his attitude towards me never changed.

In the months following that attack, Muslims moaned how they were discriminated against (and they were. I was lynched on our college campus), I could not but be ashamed at their attitude. What Muslims underwent was nothing compared to what the terrorists were doing to their adopted countries. They were traitors. Even ordinary non-violent Muslims wanted the material comfort of the west but could not be bothered to accept the values that enabled the West to acquire those comforts. Sexism, gender inequality, xenophobia, anti-semitism were and are still rampant.

I am back in India, but the attitude of Muslims does not cease to shock me. An educated, intelligent woman pursuing her graduate studies contends that the events on 9/11 have not been conclusively proven to be caused by the 19 hijackers from Al-Qaida. A Jewish conspiracy cannot be ruled out, she says. A Muslim Brown University graduate I met here is obliquely, but unmistakenly, anti-Semitic.

I've had it with these people who malign the faith that has help my family and me to get where we are today. Like you I've started writing and, where possible, speaking out against it. With this I shamelessly pitch my blog: http://ilampoon.blogspot.com/

Do visit it and leave a comment. I will love it if you do. You are my inspiration.

And carry on the good work.

-Akbar

*Post deliberately backdated.

God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule

2005-12-05T10:45:00.000-08:00

God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule.

Darfur mother glad daughter murdered by Muslim "brothers"

2005-12-05T06:53:00.000-08:00

Fatima Omar Adam couldn't stop crying. Her 2-year old daughter, Zahra Abdullah was gruesomely killed by members of Sudan's janjaweed militia. "They yanked her off my back as I was trying to escape and started bludgeoning her before my eyes." Fatima told her story in a dull, choked monotone, as she described her guilt at leaving her child to die. ''Zahra was on the ground, and they were beating her with sticks, but I ran away.'' She added, "At least the murderers were Muslim. I cannot imagine how much worse it would've been if she had been killed by infidels."

"Respected" Muslim "intellectual", Saeed Naqvi, echoes her glee. "The West is making a big deal about Darfur because they're Christians and their eyes are on the oil in the region.”, he says. "I mean, it's sad when children like Zahra die. But non-Muslims need not interfere. Who are they to point out racism amongst Muslims? They should confine their disgust to the plight of people in Palestine and Iraq only. This is an age-old conflict between farmers and nomads and it will resolve itself when the nomads are wiped off."

When asked about his opinion of the situation in Darfur, Muhammad Yunus, a 21 year old madarassa student Peshawar, Pakistan, confessed that he did not know where it was, but was convinced that the US and the Jews were to blame. "They try to malign us by maligning our culture of honor rapes and honor killings. But what about what they do in Iraq." When reminded that a majority of killings in Iraq were as a result of Muslim suicide bombers, he became enraged!" So you're taking the American's side are you? You infidel." He then loaded a clip into the Kalashnikov that he was carrying.

Unfortunately for him, the AK-47 jammed as he was about to fire, highlighting the advantage of firearm maintenance not being on the madarassa curriculum and allowing your reporter to escape.

God welcomes infidels to heaven

2005-11-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

In a startling development, God welcomed non-Muslims Maniappan Raman Kutty and B.S. Manjunathan to heaven today. Taliban lawyers said that their clients were shocked at this breach of contract by heaven and have threatened to sue. A heavenly spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity due to reasons of modesty, said that heaven had decided that bringing development and prosperity to impoverished areas and fighting vested interests harming society at immense personal risk were better criteria for entry to heaven than random, indiscriminate murder.

New low for Al Qaida

2005-11-15T07:16:00.000-08:00

They're now engaging in telemarketing!

Bukhari: Muslims need unemployment and illiteracy

2005-11-14T10:39:00.000-08:00

November 15, 2005

New Delhi
The Shahi Imam of Delhi's Jama Masjid, Maulana Syed Ahmed Bukhari said that Muslims need to vote for parties that offer them "unemployment, illiteracy and poverty". Quoting Laloo Prasad Yadav's Rashtriya Janata Dal (RJD) by name, he said that that was a good example of political parties that Muslims should try and vote for. "I hope that there is a politician like Laloo born in each state of this country."

He was speaking at a conference organized by the All India Unelected Representatives of Muslims .

Muslims, he said, have observed first-hand the results of voting for parties that champion economic development, such as the BJP. "Their agenda is economic development for non-Muslims only. As for us, they burn our bakeries." He described the difficulty Muslims in Gujarat are facing. "They can't even get a fresh burun pao to have with their tea", he said. "The parties that promised us better education and prosperity tried to kill us. Therefore, in order to stay alive, we must resolve to be illiterate and poor."

Delegates to the conference were impressed by the Imam's speech. "He impressed upon us the need to play into the hands of those who want to use us as their votebank.", said Jahangir Khan, a delegate from Bihar. "It was the much-maligned vote-bank politics that has kept us poor, and by definition, safe.", he said. Delegates wore buttons saying: "Yes to votebank politics"

Bombers disappointed with virgins

2005-11-14T02:29:00.000-08:00

Netherworld, November 14,

Jamal Haider is unhappy. "My sheikh encouraged me to become a suicide bomber. He said I would be able to make love to 72 virgins for eternity in heaven." With his less than satisfactory earthly lovelife, he decided to give heavenly romance a try. "I did think copulating with 72 women would be difficult, considering the contortion involved, but I was ready for that struggle." At his sheikh's behest, he detonated explosives wrapped around his waist in Fallujah, Iraq, killing 23 Iraqi civilians including women and children. "I was really desperate for sex.", he says. However on reaching Netherworld, he was disappointed with the virgins assigned to him.

They were men.

Netherworld's Chief Mating Officer said that the their chief supply of virgins were the suicide bombers themselves. "We wait for 73 of them to arrive, and then put them in one room together. That way each of them have 72 virgins as promised." Jamal is despondent. When he's not perusing Jello on his bruised behind, he longs to go back to his life of romantic rejections. "I should've been more skeptical. An eternity with these blokes will be quite difficult."

Will the real Muslim please stand up?

2005-11-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

testing, testing...

Who we are?*

2005-01-01T05:38:00.000-08:00

Here we are, in our own words...

Mr. Lampoon

Mr. Lampoon spent long years training to be an engineer. Now he dabbles in writing, about Islamic extremism among other things, and plans to move to East Asia.

He's the founder of this blog - where he gets to make fun of people who can get him into trouble.

And he's always on the lookout for people who can help him with that!

Istri

Istri is a woman who enjoys being one though she tests the boundaries of what a woman is supposed to be all the time!

She knows that as long as society exists there will be religions, sects and political affiliations but her concern is with the effect of all this on the individual and how the individual contributes to it. She happens to be Muslim so feels for the Muslim more closely.

Books inc

19 years ago, I came into this world, a rollicking, chubby baby, yelling at the top of my lungs. 19 years have passed and I still haven't let up.

I'm crazy, dysfunctional and whimsical but I like to consider myself an idealist. Ridiculously so. I want to change the world, make it better and I wish it were as easy as pinning a band-aid on to it. I am no Michael Jackson however. I'm just a college student trying to make sense of the world I live in.

*Post deliberately back-dated.